Keep your freaking child birthing books away from me.
**Please click above. This is a throw back to the days when me and Mr. J were taking a break from baby making. Oh, how young I was....**
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Birth. A War Story.
I would like to ask all you ladies with those kooky grins and a desire to tell me about how you were in labor for two weeks and broke your tailbone giving birth to zip your collective lips. My baby is going to simply melt from my body as if I was sweating. I will have a lovely glow about me, my husband will rub my back and then give me diamonds.
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HA! Don't worry YOUR baby WILL melt from you like sweat :)))
ReplyDeleteIt will be so much fun!
Ha! I had two emergency C's. Trust me.. that is the way to go!
ReplyDeleteI believe you. Women have been having babies for thousands and thousands of years. Why shouldn't it be easy for you?
ReplyDeleteDaughterling was 10 lb 7 oz and I did it w/out drugs...so you have absolutely nothing to worry about! ;)
Please do Mr. J a favor and DO NOT eat Mac N' Cheese the day you go into labor - there is nothing like the site and smell of half digested Mac N' Cheese getting tossed up...3 times
ReplyDeleteUgh--those evil childbirth stories. I remember being attacked by a group of mommies when I was pregnant with my oldest. I crawled under my bed with a box of chocolate covered pretzels (which, by the way, is the PERFECT pregnant food--sweet and salty).
ReplyDeleteBut, one wise friend said to me, "Don't worry. If it were that awful, no one would do it more than once. And, look at all these people with two, even three children."
sf
Ha ha ha!!! Oh, nothing brings out the free advice and experience more than pregnancy!!
ReplyDeleteNo one bothered to tell me it was entirely possible that my body could NOT be designed to deliver the baby it grew. I had a plan. I went through classes. I learned to breathe as though it was the least natural thing in the world. In the end, they had to slice me open and yank that kid out.
It doesn't matter what anyone says. Believe what you want, dream the perfect birth for you. When it comes time, whatever needs to happen will happen, and you won't even care how. And THAT will be the perfect birth.
hahaha. Thanks for sharing stories about my vajayjay repeatedly. But just remember, you asked! You're like the chic in the horror flick that goes down in the basement to see what the noise is all about. tsk tsk.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, you will have a perfect birth. You wanna know why? Cause you care about the end product, not the means to get there. Therefore, no matter how you have your baby or what you choose, you will be happy with it all. Those of us that spastically researched and scrutinized every detail end up frustrated over something that didn't go exactly right. But years later does anyone care how you delivered? No. (Except those you traumatized allowing them in the room for the birth. haha!)
I only offer choices/opinions when asked and think every mother has a right to be proud of whatever she chooses. We all ask for the right to make choices for our kids and that is a two-way street.
Love you!! Can't wait to meet Baby J!
i hated when people told me that stuff....Mine was actually brought by the stork. Slept through the night. Fed perfectly. And I didnt skip a beat. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't know why women feel compelled to say dumb stuff like that to pregnant women. Although the practice is not limited to just women. When I was pregnant with my first child, my (idiot)boss made a point of telling me how his wife's feet got huge while she was pregnant and never shrank back down to their normal size after the baby was born. Plus other choice tidbits, all of which implied he no longer found her attractive. WTH?
ReplyDeleteWillful ignorance: it's the key to a happy pregnancy.