Actual text conversation:
Me: Guess who called me today to catch up?
Amie: M.
Amie guessed M because he is the ex that I ran into last week at Starbucks who double checked to see if I was still wearing a wedding ring. Not on the DL. No, he grabbed my hand, "Still married? Happily?"
Me: No. The South African.
Amie: What for? He knows u r married.
Me: He is too. He said it seems we both found relationships and a woman that has changed his mind about being a dad. WTF?
I have to explain that the South African and I had an email-esque flirtation that turned very strange. Strange in that we never went on a date, yet he felt the need to tell me he didn't want kids and couldn't take that from me. I said thankyouverymuch, have a nice life, because he was starting to creep me out. He then called me to confess that he was going to have sex with another girl. Actual words? "I'm with another girl right now. We're checking into a hotel and I feel like I have to tell you."
Amie: Where do you find these guys?
Me: I never even kissed him.
Amie: Weird.
Me: Maybe it just means that I am super amazing and unforgettable. They'll never be the same. Yes, that must be it.
Amie: Yes it must be.
I then Googled "Pepper Spray."
Hilarious! I love your attitude. Of course it's because you're unforgettable!
ReplyDeleteHa! Pepper Spray and stun gun. . .
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
I've got some pepper spray you can borrow....
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're a witch (uh, the good kind) and casting spells on innocent men? LOL - just kidding. May all the bizarre former men find women who will put up with their crap so they'll NOT turn into stalkers.
heh heh "I then Googled "Pepper Spray." *snort*
ReplyDeleteLOVE! You could write a book on your exes alone.
ReplyDeleteMy first apartment had roaches. They all scattered when I turned on bright lights and made loud noises.
ReplyDeleteMight not be as effective as pepper spray but worth a shot.