Lady Bits and Lavender

Here I sit under the dryer, Fausto having just wrapped my head in tin. Apparently the aluminum foil makes me want to blog.

Or maybe it was the Chai tea latte I just sucked down.

Or the raver music in the background.

Or the escape from the house to feel like me again. I don't have throw up on any part of my person and I may even admit that I met a woman yesterday, showed her my lady bits which she very quickly airbrushed to take the glare away.

Hey, I'm on maternity leave. What better time to fake bake to see if you like it?

Oh, and I do. I'm hereby throwing away the Jergens tube of "Fair to Medium." I am so not ever doing this myself as I cannot contour my own stomach to make my waist look slimmer.

I may or may not have paraded naked around the bathroom this morning so that my husband could see how fucking amazing I look after becoming a whale, giving birth, bleeding, puking and crying for the past two months.

Oh, and my daughter? She smiles, laughs and knows her mama. It makes my heart race that this little person is happy to see me, hungry to nuzzle into my neck and sigh big contented lavender scented sighs.

Life is good, bitches.

So good it hurts.